Things I do to my Girlfriend that I think are Funny but that She Finds Hurtful

1. Gently whispering in her ear, “You know who I love? I’ll give you a hint her name starts with a ‘Y’ and ends with an ‘ou’… That’s right Yoko Takahashou, the Japanese Artist, she’s really, really good.”

2. Pretending to forget her birthday, by throwing her a huge surprise party several months before her actual birthday.

3. Waking up in the middle of the night sobbing and when she asks, “What’s wrong” saying, “I just had this horrible nightmare, we were married and had kids and were spending our lives together.” Then trying to make out with her.

4. Spending a really long time looking at, and gently touching, Male mannequins.

5. Playing house with Susie Milksberg, but when my girlfriend comes over, only wanting to play transformers.

6. Saying, “Maybe we should just snuggle tonight.” And then when we’re spooning start to dry-hump and, when she responds positively, saying “Why is it always about sex with you!”

7. When we’re playing Risk saying, “Ok you can take South America!” but then leaving 4 armies in Venezuela that I’ll never use.

7. Faking a pregnancy.

8. Asking her if she ever “just tried not being a robot, just to see how it felt.”

9. Mis-numbering things.

10. Buying her a power tool as a gift and then when she tries to give it to me saying, “No, that’s a girl’s drill.”

And finally,

11. Asking “Who needs a hug?” and then giving her a hug.

Easy Listening The Vote: A Brief History

Easy Listening the Vote is a not for profit, non-partisan organization, founded in 1998 as a way to encourage participation in the political process among young people between the ages of 35 and 75. Easy Listening the Vote's mission is foster political awareness through use of The Beautiful Music, and artists such as Les Baxter, Gordon Lightfoot, and Dan Fogelberg.

1998: Easy Listening the Vote forms in response to the passage of SB 1455, a Senate Bill instituting a three day waiting period before citizens are able to purchase various light of tone instruments such as the lush strings and the Hammond Organ.

2000: Easy Listening the Vote registers over 435,000 new voters, and is credited with a inspiring a 20% increase in youth turnout among voters aged 35 to 75.

2001: Easy Listening the Vote creats and distributs over one million free copies of "Easy Listen the System: A Guide to Health Care for Young Americans Aged 35 to 75," a pamphlet on health issues affecting young people in the second and third quart century of their lives.

2004: Easy Listening the Vote takes to sea in the Mix 93 "Vote or Boat," schooner, and registers over 10,000 voters, many of whom are fishing or taking part in yacht racing.

2008: Politicians vie for invites to Easy Listening's November "The Soft Sounds of Election," concert, where Engelbert Humperdinck, Harry Connick Jr., and Barry Manilow are scheduled to appear.