Don’t Vote Please

I remember when my 3rd grade history teacher impressed on me the importance of voting. “It doesn’t matter what you vote for as long as you vote!” Now that I’m a little older, I see how very wrong she was.

I think both Republicans and Democrats can agree that it’s a mistake to “get out the vote.” Sure I like it now that it’s going well for the Democrats, but remember 2000 and 2004 when a whole lot of evangelicals suddenly decided that it was time to get politically involved? That sucked!

Don’t get me wrong I vote for anything. I voted for state controller John Chiang even though I was running against him! But that’s because I actually care about the issues. The last thing we need is a whole bunch of politically uneducated people making snap decisions in the voting booth.

Only vote if you are going to vote the way I do. If you are undecided, don’t vote, (you are clearly dumb). If you are an asshole, don’t vote. If you want a candidate you can have a beer with, don’t vote (same as the asshole one). Stop encouraging people to vote, unless you know beforehand that they are going to vote: Yes, no, no, yes, yes, Barack Obama.

Chiang 2012!

Your Mama’s not America’s Next Top Dance Crew!

Is it just me or are the Moms on ‘Your Mama’s not America’s Next Top Dance Crew’ just doing worse and worse each week? I mean look at last week’s episode.

Donny Walberg: Alright let’s see what the Judges thought of that last performance.

Big Sis’: Alright, that was tight! Trip-Lip I thought your moves were off the hook.

Justin Jeffre: Tone Ride, your choreography is sick, You're the sickest dancer I’ve ever seen!

Huge audience applause

Donny Walberg: Alright, and what did you guys think of Nancy?

Close up on Nancy, a 53 year old housewife, she is out of breath and clearly in pain.

Maxwell Sheffield: Nancy, you have to understand that this late in the competition we can’t have second rate performances like that. I mean you were supposed to incorporate a back flip into your dance, I didn’t even see one back flip.

Nancy: I can’t do one. I told you, I’ve had knee surgery.

Big Sis’: Nancy, I have to ask you. Do you even want to be here? I mean look around you, you are the last Mom in this competition. If you want to represent for the Moms then you have to step it up. All the other Moms have gone home!

Nancy: Well… that’s because they weren’t 23 year old professional break-dancers. I’m not sure how we were ever supposed to win.

Maxwell Sheffield: See that’s what I’m talking about. A big part of the problem is that bad attitude.

Nancy: Can I go now, please?

I mean come on! I think the show should be called Suck it up (Nancy) and DANCE! I think I’m going to vote for Trip-Lip.

Easy Listening The Vote: A Brief History

Easy Listening the Vote is a not for profit, non-partisan organization, founded in 1998 as a way to encourage participation in the political process among young people between the ages of 35 and 75. Easy Listening the Vote's mission is foster political awareness through use of The Beautiful Music, and artists such as Les Baxter, Gordon Lightfoot, and Dan Fogelberg.

1998: Easy Listening the Vote forms in response to the passage of SB 1455, a Senate Bill instituting a three day waiting period before citizens are able to purchase various light of tone instruments such as the lush strings and the Hammond Organ.

2000: Easy Listening the Vote registers over 435,000 new voters, and is credited with a inspiring a 20% increase in youth turnout among voters aged 35 to 75.

2001: Easy Listening the Vote creats and distributs over one million free copies of "Easy Listen the System: A Guide to Health Care for Young Americans Aged 35 to 75," a pamphlet on health issues affecting young people in the second and third quart century of their lives.

2004: Easy Listening the Vote takes to sea in the Mix 93 "Vote or Boat," schooner, and registers over 10,000 voters, many of whom are fishing or taking part in yacht racing.

2008: Politicians vie for invites to Easy Listening's November "The Soft Sounds of Election," concert, where Engelbert Humperdinck, Harry Connick Jr., and Barry Manilow are scheduled to appear.