McMom

So I ran across on the McDonald's Website a section where mom's find out all about the health benefits of eating at McDonald's called McDonald's Mom.


Here is an excerpt from a recent mom factory visit.

"I was most surprised to learn that breast meat for the Southern Style Chicken Biscuit and Sandwich are infused with marinade then further mixed in a tumbler with more marinade to ensure a good blend. But what surprised me the most was that Chicken McNuggets are made with grounded breast meat, not 'strips.' This explains their internal texture."

And my reaction was pretty much the same as hers. "Holy Shit! I cannot believe that McNuggets aren't made out of strips." When you eat McNuggets their internal texture is exactly what you would expect from eating strips, but McDonald's has gone and found some kind of chicken miracle to do it with grounded breast meat. I mean who the fuck do McDonald's think they are not going with strips. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they took the road less traveled, but I just want to point out that it was ballsy.

I can't wait to read about the moms next trip to see how McDonald's World Famous Fries® are made. I bet instead of freeze dried potato strips, they use partially dehydrated potato sticks. God I'm excited.

FunBox Burger

Menu from FunBox’s new fast food Restaurant FunBox Burger.

Classic Burger

A quarter pound of freshly ground sirloin topped with a slice of Vermont cheddar made especially for us in Wisconsin. Served with vine ripened tomatoes and vine ripened lettuce. All topped with our special “Matt Sauce” on a sesame bread holder. This is the burger to eat when you want a burger to eat.

Razz-a-ma-tazz Burger

A quarter pound of freshly ground sirloin seasoned with all the jazz of New Orleans! This is topped with a slice of 100% certified Angus Mozzarella and smothered in an authentic style Creole Jambalaya sauce. It is topped off with lettuce, grilled onion, and a live deep fried crawdad. Not even a levy could hold you back from this one.

Uncle Sam’s Burger

An all American burger like your grandfather ate! Two half-pound U.S.D.A. certified chuck patties are topped with creamy havarti and Edam cheeses and a fresh mescaline salad with a lemon poppy seed vinaigrette. All this is piled high on grilled rye bread. Served with a side of our White Bean Gazpacho Soup.

Thunderstorm Burger

We call it our Thunderstorm Burger because you are going to get drenched. A quarter pound of freshly ground sirloin is topped with over 8 oz. of Barbeque Sauce, Honey Mustard sauce, “Matt Sauce,” Creole Jambalaya sauce, and Mustard Honey sauce. Your choice of a cracked wheat bun or a bowl.

Southwest Burger

A quarter pound of freshly ground sirloin topped with a slice of Vermont cheddar made especially for us in Wisconsin. Served with vine ripened tomatoes and vine ripened lettuce. All topped with our special “Matt Sauce” on a sesame bread holder. One bite and you will swear you just took a trip to the Southwest!

California Loco Burger

Our ‘crazy’ twist on the California burger. One quarter pound of rib eye and a quarter pound of lamb blended together to make a moist burger that says, “Hey, I’m from California.” We top that off with fresh sliced avocado, home made guacamole, and a Guacamole Flavored Avocado sauce. Served on bread.

FunBox Burger

Just like our classic burger with twice the meat and twice the cheese. This FunBox is about to burst.

Sweet Caroline Burger

Just like our FunBox Burger, but with twice the meat and twice the cheese. You’ll be singing “Sweet Caroline!”

‘Five Alarm’ Alarm Burger

This burger is so hot it is sure to set off your ‘five alarm’ alarm! We blend fresh habanera chilies directly into this quarter pound sirloin burger and top it all off with pepper jack cheese, roasted poblano peppers, spicy lettuce, ‘Five Alarm’ Chili, three jalapeño poppers, and chipotle mayonnaise. Kiss your fucking mouth goodbye.

Satan's Living Room

So to finally settle all the forum arguments once and for all:

Yes, that was FunBox's very own Will on Fox's Hell's Kitchen last night.

Do you hear that knocking? That's stardom banging on our door. Why don't I just go let him in. Oh look, he brought his best friends fame and fortune too.

"Hey guys, I bet if I complain we'll totally get on TV."

It was a fun night. Gordon was yelling in the kitchen and we weren't getting served. Basically how you would expect service to go in Hell's Kitchen. The less fun part was all the tables around us got food. We were left to sit there and much on bread (very good bread mind you). All about the room were moans of "mmm, this is so good. I've never had _____ this good before." You could hear all our hearts shatter simultaneously when we heard Gordon bellow from the kitchen "Shut it Down!"

We had been there five hours and only had eaten a couple morsels of bread. When the room was clearing out though, we noticed that on the empty table next to ours was sitting a virtually untouched piece of cake. We quickly looked at each other wondering if we dared, but the hunger in our eyes said it all. We reached over and grabbed the cake and hurriedly tore it to shreds carefully avoiding the spot where the previous owner had sampled. Delicious.

The episode can viewed on Hulu. My scene is about 26 minutes in.

Bible Themed Restaurant Price List

John the Breakfast.................................................$8

Forbidden Fruit Salad............................................$4

Garden of Eatin' (salad bar)..................................$6

Crown of Thorn Apple Valley Sausage.................$2

Pontius Pie...............................................................$3

BethleHam n' Cheese Sandwich...........................$5

Mary Margarine (or butter) by request