HellDeath: Return to Gun Island 3

Welcome to the third Installment of Helldeath return to Gun Island.

Diary of a Space Captian

The following is an excerpt from the log of Captain Lars McFenris, the first human to visit Jupiter and its moons in the year 2075.

Read of his daring exploits!

April 21^st 2073

Space Journal Entry,

Just passed the mars orbit today! Only 24 more months till we reach Jupiter!

Crew in high spirits.

August 15^th 2073

Space Journal Entry,

Helmsman Tokomoro got anomalous blip on Radar. Our first blip (anomalous or otherwise) in over 9 months. Said he was sure it was manufactured, we should alter course to investigate. Crew very exited, already wearing space suits. If we alter course would be at least 3 days till we approached blip. Telescopic observations revealed that it was debris from a survey probe approximately 3 Cm in length. Did not alter course.

Crew grouchy.

August 17^th 2073

Space Journal Entry,

Awoke with a start, and Alarms blaring. Someone had fired Port Particle Beam Cannon. Blip destroyed. Called crew into my quarters and asked guilty party to step forward. Informed crew that I wasn’t mad, just wanted to know who did it.

Sgt. Morphy will be confined to quarters.

Crew in less than high spirits.

December 24 2073

Space Journal Entry,

Christmas today. No one got me anything.

Crew in less than high Christmas spirits.

January 12^th 2074

Space Journal Entry,

Navigator Johnston has come down with serious illness! Is confined to sickbay. Dr. Salvo is at a total loss, thinks it may be some form of space born illness. Crew very exited, wearing hazard suits. Ordered detailed reports on his condition delivered to my quarters every hour.

Crew in state of anxious readiness.

January 13^th 2074

Space Journal Entry,

It was Mumps. He’ll be fine. Lt. Dewit thinks he must still also have ‘Space Fever’ wants to tie Johnston to outside of ship “Just to make sure.”

Dewit is confined to quarters.

Morale low.

March 20^th 2024

Space Journal Entry,

I’ve put everyone on Anti-suicide pills. Have constructed “Outer-Space-Alien-Ghost Outfit” plan to wake up and scare Sgt. Morphy tonight after lights out.

Crew exited about rumors of Outer-Space-Alien-Ghost.

An Open Letter to Michael Bay or Anyone That Knows Him

Dear Michael Bay or Anyone That Knows Him,

After watching your Transformers movie this weekend, we're pretty sure we can write for you. We are currently working on a spec script which we think will be up your alley. Hell Death: Return to Gun Island, is the story of John Helldeath and his return to Gun Island. We're fairly certain you'll enjoy it as it contains explosions at random moments in the plot, very cool lines about said explosions such as "damn you can't buy that shit on ebay!" and various characters who yell a lot and may or may not explode at any point during the film. Below is a scene from our script, which we're sure you'll enjoy. Please contact us about money soon.

Sincerely,
FunBox