Your Mama’s not America’s Next Top Dance Crew!

Is it just me or are the Moms on ‘Your Mama’s not America’s Next Top Dance Crew’ just doing worse and worse each week? I mean look at last week’s episode.

Donny Walberg: Alright let’s see what the Judges thought of that last performance.

Big Sis’: Alright, that was tight! Trip-Lip I thought your moves were off the hook.

Justin Jeffre: Tone Ride, your choreography is sick, You're the sickest dancer I’ve ever seen!

Huge audience applause

Donny Walberg: Alright, and what did you guys think of Nancy?

Close up on Nancy, a 53 year old housewife, she is out of breath and clearly in pain.

Maxwell Sheffield: Nancy, you have to understand that this late in the competition we can’t have second rate performances like that. I mean you were supposed to incorporate a back flip into your dance, I didn’t even see one back flip.

Nancy: I can’t do one. I told you, I’ve had knee surgery.

Big Sis’: Nancy, I have to ask you. Do you even want to be here? I mean look around you, you are the last Mom in this competition. If you want to represent for the Moms then you have to step it up. All the other Moms have gone home!

Nancy: Well… that’s because they weren’t 23 year old professional break-dancers. I’m not sure how we were ever supposed to win.

Maxwell Sheffield: See that’s what I’m talking about. A big part of the problem is that bad attitude.

Nancy: Can I go now, please?

I mean come on! I think the show should be called Suck it up (Nancy) and DANCE! I think I’m going to vote for Trip-Lip.

The Radio Needs to Stop Trying so Hard

It’s always fun to learn about something new. And that’s why driving home from work last week, I was excited to tune my radio dial and hear: “Friday at 5:30! Friday at 5:30! Friday at 5:30! (the radio likes to repeat things). It’s time for a new mashup!”

“Wow a mashup!” I thought. “I’ve never heard one of those. What will they be mashing?” My guess was potatoes, as they’re the most famous mashy things of them all. I listened intently to hear how they’d broadcast a yummy food, and wondered if they’d discovered how to harness the power of carbohydrates to compete with satellite radio. Then the music started.

Ugh! Mashups aren’t delicious at all! Turns out they’re just a bunch of songs played on top of each with some guy who yells at you for not dancing hard enough. What was worse, I was already dancing as hard as I could!

Like we we’re not busy enough already, now we’ve got to listen to all our songs at the same time? And hey Mashup: maybe it isn’t such a good idea to “shake it, shake it, baby, shake it don’t stop,” when I’m already running a red-turning light just to make a left turn on Sepulveda. “No officer, I wasn’t on a cell phone, It’s just they mixed Nine Inch Nails with “Flight of the Bumblebee,” and bunch of vacuum cleaner noises and…” Then the officer starts dancing and he makes me dance and I don’t even know the same moves as him.

Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m officially off the Mash Mix, and now I’m looking for better things. No more confusing fake-not-potatoes-disappointment for this guy. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll check out that new Tuesday Morning Zoo Show. I just love zebras.