Headbutt!

Ouch!

When did movies decide that the Headbutt was the ultimate martial arts technique that when done right none could defend against? Think about it! How many times have you seen a guy not knocked out by a headbutt? None! How many guys have you seen survive a nuclear explosion? A couple, right?! Like Indianna Jones and the Crappy Movie of I Wish I Didn’t Spend Ten Dollars On.

Nothing works like a Headbutt. “There he is! Shoot him!” (Guy dives out of the way, bullets spark around him.) “Alright, that didn’t work. Let’s blow up the building instead!” (Guy leaps forward as the building explodes behind him). “Alright let’s try a headbutt.” Checkmate! ... or should I say Headbutt!

Headbutts are unstoppable in movies, they’re like hovercrafts. “Oh no here comes the hovercraft! How are we going to get away?” “Quick, jump into this lake” No good! The hovercraft is undeterred by the change in terrain! It’s the same deal with headbutts!

Have you ever seen a real headbutt? Real headbutts are a horrifying! Most of the time it hurts both people about equally, it’s a ghastly bloody affair and I hate to see it glamorized in film!

Thoughts on the Big Move...

Ever think that life and work were just too stressful? I did. That's why I recently quit my job and moved in with my girlfriend. Some people may find it odd that my plan to resolve stress was become unemployed and then begin living with a chick I've only known for like six months, but keep in mind, we're in love and she has DirecTV

So lately I'd been going through all my stuff and throwing most of it away. Looking back, it's nice to know I spent the past five years living with what I decided this week was mostly garbage. To be fair though, anything can be justified as garbage when the alternative is having to haul it. "Wait, I either pick this up, take it to a car, take it out of the car, and then figure out a new place of it to go, or I can just put it in this brown plastic bag?" " Bye box of pictures of life changing events in my personal history. Sorry, that's just too much carrying!" Actually it's a good thing I don't have a baby or any caged pets. My new place is on the second floor, and I hate carrying things up steps.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm now living stress free and unemployed with a blonde-haired woman I recently met, and the only possessions I still own are a couple of shirts and a filing cabinet. I wish some of my old pants fit in that cabinet.