Thoughts on the Big Move...

Ever think that life and work were just too stressful? I did. That's why I recently quit my job and moved in with my girlfriend. Some people may find it odd that my plan to resolve stress was become unemployed and then begin living with a chick I've only known for like six months, but keep in mind, we're in love and she has DirecTV

So lately I'd been going through all my stuff and throwing most of it away. Looking back, it's nice to know I spent the past five years living with what I decided this week was mostly garbage. To be fair though, anything can be justified as garbage when the alternative is having to haul it. "Wait, I either pick this up, take it to a car, take it out of the car, and then figure out a new place of it to go, or I can just put it in this brown plastic bag?" " Bye box of pictures of life changing events in my personal history. Sorry, that's just too much carrying!" Actually it's a good thing I don't have a baby or any caged pets. My new place is on the second floor, and I hate carrying things up steps.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I'm now living stress free and unemployed with a blonde-haired woman I recently met, and the only possessions I still own are a couple of shirts and a filing cabinet. I wish some of my old pants fit in that cabinet.

Gynoid

Some of you might remember that I work in an office with all robots.

Remember?

About 6 months ago I started dating the receptionist. It’s kind of a cute story how we started dating. I mentioned how it was great that they were finally hiring Androids, “It’s good to see a friendly face, or you know even a face at all!” but instead of taking the complement she got really mad, “I’m a gynoid, not an android! Do I look like I was designed to simulate male appearance and behavior to you?” So the next day to apologize I sent her a card saying, “As a human male I can clearly see that you are feminine.” And she sent me a text saying “I accept your offer of courtship.”

That wasn’t really what I meant by the card, but I figured it was worth a shot, after all it wasn’t like I was having much luck with the human females. Our first date went rather awkwardly, I asked if she wanted to go see a movie only to find out that she’s bolted to the floor. She seemed kind of embarrassed about it but I told her I thought it was sexy. I just waited till the office closed and brought some DVD’s to watch on my laptop (and a Chess set but a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell). Things heated up pretty quickly from there and pretty soon we were sending each other little love notes and NP -complete problems to solve. For our 1 month anniversary I bought her one of those super powerful drills and a battery pack and she said it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her.

Our relationship has had its rough spots, one time she called me at 4:00AM. “I had the most horrible nightmare, I dreamt that our relationship was equal to the sum of a five digit prime and a perfect cube.” When I asked which of us was the five digit prime she said I was “insensitive.” We made up though and now we have a good hearty laugh whenever I say things like, “Well at least we’re not equal to 75,228.”

I know what you’re thinking, and a lot of my friends have told me that this relationship is doomed but, I still think it’s possible for an office romance to work.