Friday, February 1, 2008

Fronier House - Synopsis

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Have you ever wondered what life was really like for pioneers living in the American West during the late 19th century? Could a modern-day family handle an earlier time's lifestyle?

Week 1
Man: It was a simpler time back then.

Woman: I think people were closer to nature. Today, with all our distractions we tend to forget how beautiful mother nature can be; It's wonderful

Man: Yeah, it feels so good to work with your hands.

Week 2
Man: Well one thing I will say: The food is sub-par.

CUT TO Montage of woman waking up 2 hours before dawn, cooking until noon, and her resulting shitty, shitty food.

Woman: You will eat and enjoy this biscuit, Goddammit! (She bursts into tears).

Week 3
Man: It was interesting to see how they made wagon wheels.

Woman: (Has meningitis)

Week 4
Man realizes that all human history before the 1920's had racism so rampant that even different kinds of white people found reasons to hate each other, they decide they don't like “the Irish.”

Woman realizes that few people went 'un-raped.'

Aftermath
Man and Woman get divorce. Child learns to live life missing a hand.

I don't think I've ever seen more poignant proof that everyone who lived before 1987 was completely miserable.

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