Ideas I have that are Probably Wrong

I’m pretty sure that if I raise my child in a mostly underwater cave, he will gain night vision and the ability to hold his breath for long times. Not only will he use these skills to fight crime, but he will thank me for the cave raising.

If I grow and wear a Hitler mustache for long enough, eventually I can bring it back into style.

Masturbating does in fact count as exercise.

Watching a show about Krav Maga counts as taking a lesson.

That if I had a chance to go back to high school today with all that I know now, I would be cool and score with chicks and not be beat up as often.

In the next 100 years or so man will evolve to the point where we will all be completely hairless. Balding people are just the next step in human evolution.

Being featured on College Humor is proof that my plan to be a famous millionaire is working.

My polite mannerism and quiet acceptance are respected by my bosses and will eventually lead to my promotion.

I bet that if I was drafted by the army I would find out that I had all sorts of secret fighting and survival skills I didn’t know about.

Girls appreciate that I am totally comfortable talking about menstruation.

Not a good idea...

The internet has kind of ruined having ideas. Don’t get me wrong the internet is fantastic if you don’t have an idea. You go to gooogle and bam, millions of ideas for the taking. But now, every time I have an original idea I have to search the internet and make sure its an original idea. This is so that when I tell someone I have an idea they don’t say, “Oh like on that swedish website.” Imagine how much nicer it was back in the day when it was ten people living in a town with no one for hundreds of miles. One hot summer day one of the guys goes “I wish my pants weren’t so long.” One swing of a blade later that dude had invented shorts. It didn’t matter if some Swedish guy had already made shorts and his had pockets. There was no way to know. I guess what I am saying is that when it comes to having ideas, ignorance is bliss.