What if Cats Were Made of Chocolate?

Photo by Heather Landis

The answer is obvious. Women would consume them during periods of high stress.

Chock-o-Cat! Gives you love and calories!

Who do you think punched that picture? I remember once I had to stay over at someone’s house and the person whose room I was staying in had just gone through a messy breakup. There was the big “We’re Happy!” standard couple photo on the wall. It had been shattered. Depressing.

In real life Debra Rico and Tony Sam, also pictured, (the guy, not the cat) are going to get married. We wish them all the best.

The Holiday Spirit

I just want to let all you guys know that I'm not going to try to keep the Holiday spirit all year round this year. And do you want to know why? Because I tried it last year and everyone made fun of me! "Nice Santa hat, weirdo!" in March, "Eew how old is this?" when I offer candy canes in September.

Sure we're all on board to "keep the Christmas spirit all year round" when it's December 23rd but when I come to your apartment complex caroling in June, all of a sudden I'm breaking and entering.

And don't give me that crap about "We meant try to keep the spirit of generosity all year round." That's not the holiday spirit, that's called "being nice."

I'm so sick of egg nog.

meeting

After a few minutes, his focus completely shifted to the cup full of peppermints placed at his table, and his effort to grasp one with his mind and hurl it into the gaping maw of Deborah, the much hated company controller. He imagined her feathered 1980's haircut standing on end in fright, as five grams of cellophane-wrapped-breath-freshening-death closed upon her. Despite the unlikelihood of the scenario, he knew if the universe granted him this power, it would be the most productive meeting the company had ever had.

Sweeter than...

In a brilliant decision no one will regret ever, FunBox has decided to no longer pursue the comedy biz. We are know fully pledged to the world of making candy. It was a whirlwind romance filled with cornstarch molds, extruding, and drying racks. In a very heated vote it was decided that our first effort would be a FunBox candy bar. A secondary vote then determined what kind of candy bar it would, and it was unanimous that it should be the best candy bar ever. Close your eyes and imagine the flavor rush as I describe it (since this is a blog, you will have to find someone to read this part to you while you are savoring imaginary deliciousness).

We start with an unwrapped twix bar, dip it in grade A clover honey, and then roll the whole thing in praline pieces. We then take that and add a fine layer of gummy. The gummy flavors will come in Orange, Lime, Lemon, and Pomegranate. Once that is in place we hide one raisin somewhere in there and maybe a pretzel. Only one in five bars will have the pretzel piece. We then dip that in chocolate, wipe that layer off, and then do it again but this time correctly. The entire bar is stuck on spinning eating accessory that will feature the likeness of either Will, Paul, or Matt. Note: the Matt one will spin a little to fast.

The FunBox candy bar will be available in CVS drugs stores across the nation, but only between the hours of 3 and 4 on Tuesday.