What’s So Great About Your Fantasy?

For a long time I’ve felt guilty about loving comic books. Somewhere along the way I read something that described them as ‘Juvenile power fantasies’ and that struck a chord with me. I still loved the crap out of comic books, mind you, but there was this small critical voice in the back of my mind that kept saying, “You’re wasting your time! Why don’t you read some real literature?” So, in an effort to shut that little voice up, I did. I decided to read some of the most enduring literature ever composed by human beings. These are my summaries of the stories that have captivated us for thousands of years and that have been told and retold since the dawn of civilization.

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Gilgamesh, a psychologically complex man with strength beyond that of normal men, fights monsters, demons, and another man with incredible strength in this juvenile power fantasy.

The Iliad: Achilles, a psychologically complex man and the greatest warrior alive, tries to decide weather or not to fight in a war with the Trojans. When he finally does fight, he’s totally awesome and stabs a whole bunch of them in this Juvenile power fantasy.

The Mahabharata: A psychologically complex team of superhero brothers fight a war with their relatives in this Juvenile power fantasy.

Richie Rich: A kid has a lot of money, zaniness ensues.

Ok, so that last one is actually a comic book.

Super Mansion Wish List

With the Internet these days, it’s a safe bet we’re all soon be super rich. Why? Because the Internet creates wealth without us having to worry about things like the economy. That’s why it’s important to all of us to start planning what will be in our super mansions. Below is the FunBox list. What is yours?

FunBox Super Mansion Needs List
(may also serve as FunBox's Birthday Wish List)

Trampoline Room – The floor is made entirely of trampoline. Good for moon walk simulations, children’s birthday parties, and courting Romanian gymnast neighbors.

Tunnel System – Mainly a safety precaution. Useful in staging a guerilla campaign should the super mansion’s security be compromised.

Room For Pillow Choosing – 47 different varieties of pillows, many Swedish and so comfortable as to be illegal in the States.

Laser Gun - Cause we don't believe in regular guns.

Sharkquarium – Giant and steel-reinforced. Shaped like a goldfish bowl for kitsch reasons.

Urinal Room - Pee on anything you like without the guilt. Sorry ladies, dudes only!

Blimp Garage – We may be rich but there’s nothing more annoying than paying local blimp parking fees.

Mountainous Terrain – Self-explanatory.

Ice Cream Room – Fully refrigerated room, filled entirely with ice cream “snow”. Guests wear clean suits like those ones those multi-colored dance-y guys had in the old Intel commercials, upon entrance they can use their favorite flavors to make an ice cream man, ice cream angels, or simply have an ice cream fight. Remember not to pack your ice cream balls with toffee or peanuts though: you’ll put an eye out.

Pre-Installed Time Travel Conduits - So we don't have to go through installation when the technology is developed.