At the Zoo

I guess it looks sorta like a prairie dog...

I would like to present to you my 3 act play entitled At the A Zoo.

Act 1: The Gorillas

A mother gorilla and her baby are grooming each other. I sit quietly with my back slightly turned so as not to disturb them. A teenage girl and her friend approach.

Loud Teenage Girl: OH MY GOD look at that one’s titties!

Her Friend: I think that’s the daddy.

Loud Teenage girl: Those titties are huge!

The gorillas quietly walk away.

Act 2: The Meerkats

The Meerkats are all out of their burrows; they are digging around, climbing on rocks and generally doing interesting things. I sit quietly watching. A group of people approach the enclosure.

Loud Woman: OH MY GOD! Jackie come look! Look at the prairie dogs! Jackie look LOOK do you see the prairie dogs?

Jackie (a 4 year old girl) is uninterested.

Loud Woman: (picking Jackie out of her stroller) Look! See!

The Meerkats return to their burrows.

Act 3: the Lion

Douche bag guy: (Clapping) Yo! Prrr! Roar! Hey! (A loud whistle)

The Lion continues to sleep.

Epilogue: The Chimps

A Chimp picks up a huge clod of dirt and throws it at a group of ladies. They all shriek.

Ladies: (Ad lib) Why did he do that?

-end-

fires, drivetimes, and killer moths: oh my!

Why is it that Los Angeles is pretty much always on fire nowadays, but people are still moving here trying to "make it"? What would it take to discourage them? Why move to a place that's literally burning as you're driving into town? The odds of being a star are probably lower at this point than the odds of being set on fire!

Those of us already in Los Angeles are no better. We mostly just post "neat" fire pictures on Flickr and also complain about the traffic. The true meaning of a natural disaster here is how it effects your work commute. If Mothra were attacking the west side tomorrow, the biggest topic of conversation would probably be how annoyed people were cause they had to take Sepulveda north instead of the 405.