Recipe for Disaster

Ingredients

* 1/2 loaf mayhem
* 1/4 cup chaos
* 3/4 cup bad news
* 5 ounces casualties, thinly sliced
* 6 ounces carnage, cooled
* 3 ounces (about 5 slices) misfortune
* woe (for drizzling)

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Slice the mayhem into 10 slices, each about 1/2-inch thick. Brush the mayhem with chaos and arrange it on a baking sheet. Bake mercilessly for 10-15 minutes.

Spread each slice of the mayhem with the bad news then place the casualties on top. Arrange the carnage on top of the casualties. Cut each piece of misfortune in half and place on top of the carnage. Transfer the disaster to a serving platter. Drizzle with woe and serve.

Introduction Etiquette

When meeting new groups for the first time, it’s always a good idea for introductions to be made in order of who should be saved in the event of a natural disaster. That way when such an event occurs, no one is confused as to whether *met* a person first, or if they’re supposed to *save* them first. That’s also why I’m so quick to offer handshakes to strangers.