On a Date with Funbox

Even though Funbox is listed as “Single” on Myspace it still likes to go on dates, here’s the recap of our most recent one!

Funbox doesn’t like to kiss and tell so we’ll keep our date (Who we totally scored with, by the way!) anonymous, lets call her “Kelly.” Funbox showed up at Kelly’s house promptly at 8 and waited in the parlor, chatting with Kelly’s dad. “So what do you boys do for a living?” Funbox is kind of in between things right now, due to the writer’s strike, so we decided to change the subject by accidentally knocking over a vase. Kelly sure looked pretty, and she said that our cologne smelled, “like vinyl or something” which prompted a lot of elbowing amongst us (A long debate over whether to use cologne or not had been settled when everyone agreed that we had to “smell the same” and we all made sure to apply an equal 4 tablespoons).

The real trouble started once we got to dinner. Our original seating plan had only been agreed upon after 2 and ½ hours of vigorous debate and a dice based variant of rock-paper-scissors. Funbox finally agreed that Kelly would sit facing the window “So she could check her makeup in the reflection.” But when we got to the diner she wanted to sit facing the restaurant. Funbox is very chivalrous but we hadn’t brought our dice! Short story long, we took turns sitting to the left and across from Kelly and making excuses to leave the table, with a plan for 12 minute rotations. Dinner conversation was very stimulating, and we made sure to tell Kelly so by paying her complements like, “That’s a good point,” “I couldn’t agree more” and “I find this dinner conversation very stimulating!”

It’s important to make your date feel comfortable and not offend her, so during the movie we all watched Kelly closely and only laughed when she did, and we made sure to ask every 15 minutes if she wanted anything from the concession stand. Then it was time to head home. We told Kelly we had had a wonderful evening and that we hoped we could all do it again sometime. She said she’d “let us know” and then gave us a kiss on the cheek! We’re going to marry her!

Temptation

This weekend, FunBox went to a beautiful house in Malibu. Its owner was a jovial fellow, and father to three beautiful daughters. With a knowing gleam in his eye, he smiled spoke the most exciting words that a group of three young men could ever hear: “I work in construction. If you ever want to destroy a house and tape it, I can make that happen.”