INTERNET POSTCARD #3

Zion National Park/Bryce Canyon

There sure are a lot of warning signs in national parks. Why shouldn't you climb out onto the cliffs? “Last year a man fell to his death when he climbed onto an outcropping for a picture.” Is it important to keep drinking water because we're in the dessert? “4 months ago a jogger in the canyon died from heat prostration because he didn't drink enough water.” Why shouldn't you feed the animals? “A five year old child was kicked to death by a deer wen he refused to relinquish his sandwich.” “Later the deer had to be shot.” I'm not embellishing these signs, here's one about flash floods. “Anyone caught in this would quickly be battered to death against the rocks. YOU CANNOT SURVIVE THE TORRENT!”

I think I might be detecting a slight pattern here.

What's funny to me is the arms race between the park service and assholes. “Don't feed the animals.” Wasn't good enough, they had to upgrade to, again not kidding, “Ground squirrels have fleas that may carry bubonic plague” There's also an Orwellian civilian spy program in full swing, “$100 Fine for Feeding Animals- Report Violators”

It's only a matter of time before rangers, disguised as plainclothes chipmunks, approach hikers and beg them for peanuts. I always ask Coyotes, “You're not a cop right? You know you have to tell me if you are?”

INTERNET POSTCARD #2

Las Vegas!

So far we've eaten dinner and attempted to learn '3 card poker' here's a transcript from my first attempt.

Me: I don't know how to play. I hope you'll teach me.

Dealer: Sure! Just put down $10 (She gestures towards 3 rectangles on the table).

Me: Ok!

Dealer: No $10 on each, that's the minimum bet.

Me: 30 Dollars! I don't have that kind of money! Do I look like a chump to you?!

Things went downhill fast after that. (They don't like it when you bring a laptop to the table)

Stay tuned for our next installment titled, 'Here in Nevada we hate the earth, and we have always sought to destroy it, that's part of the reason there's no recycling.'

INTERNET POSTCARD #1

Funbox is going to take a break from it's regularly scheduled Blog (Flossing 101 – Lesson 1: My Mouth is Full of Blood!) Instead we're sending you an Internet postcard from a Recreational Vehicle parked just outside of beautiful Las Vegas Nevada!

As I type this I'm watching my Father figure out how to empty the septic system. I'm not sure how well it's going but my brother just doubled over and ran away.

Yes, with an RV you can have all the comforts of home without the pesky inconveniences of modern sanitation and safety.

Here at the RV park, every motor home has a tiny puddle of water under it that's vaguely unsettling, but we didn't come here for to see the RV park, we came here for the excitement that is Las Vegas (only a 20 minute cab ride away!) Our next Internet postcard will be from inside a Casino!