Small earthquakes do me no good

Don't you hate it when you get a really cool gift that you can't yet use? Lately I've been thinking a lot about the earthquake kit I got for Christmas. It's got everything: meal rations, water proof matches, even a foil thin thermal blanket! I go to sleep at night thinking about how awesome it would be to use the hand powered radio. I mean it would be like listening to a regular radio only powered by my own hands! And I'm really excited about those meal rations. They're like little bricks of food! Bricks! Imagine going to a buffet and eating a retaining wall of flavor! Anyway, the big one better come soon, cause I'm excited. I've got a ton of waterproof matches that aren't wetting themselves.

The Earthquake

This month, when I felt the earthquake, for some dumb reason my thought process was as follows: "Hey this is an earthquake. I hope this gets exciting!" Those were my immediate thoughts, even before I got to: "um should I stand in a door or something?"

Then it was over, and for a second I felt disappointed.

What? That doesn't make any sense! Clearly any form of excitement that's earthquake-oriented is a very bad thing! There's never an earthquake that turns out exciting for a happy reason. Like an earthquake that gives everyone a dollar, or explodes skittles from the groud, or the crack itself starts talking in the form of a mouth that says really smart stuff about unsigned bands that you'll like.

Obviously my disappointment was unfounded. If you were disappointed, I suspect yours was too.