Angels and Demons the Da Vinci Code 2

Last night I went to The Da Vinci Code 2, or Angels and Demons, which is what they're calling it. I love movies like Angels and Demons the Da Vinci Code 2 because the characters are immersed in a world so exciting and mysterious that I inevitably want to be one of them. There's a lot to choose from in Angels and Demons the Da Vinci Code 2.

First I started wanting to Robert Langdon. He's a symbolist that reads secret books and then is like "oh yeah that fish from 400 years ago? That means the bad guys are at a pinball arcade down the street." I realized I couldn't be him pretty quick though, Robert does a lot of traveling and that gets expensive. I can't rely on my book writing and the occasional free lance job fighting Illuminati to for all that transportation. So that's out.

What about French Chick? I though to myself. French Chick probably has a name and might not even be French, but neither of those things were really important enough to the film's plot for me to remember. What is important though is that she's a super star physicist who harvests anti-matter in quantities so large that it's actually scientificially impossible. What a gig! Not for me though. Mostly she hangs out in Switzerland with the Large Hadron Collider. I like chocholate and all, but I'm not big on skiing, and I'm even less big on being a lady. I'd rather be with the ladies. Am I right guys? High five!

In the end I decided the most realistic job for me would probably be Pope. That guy gets to wear a big ass hat and hang out in the Vatican all day reading it's secret archives. Sure I'd have to travel but those guys always just take up a second collection at church for that, and as for the ladies, I wouldn't have to be Pope till I was an old ass dude. By then I'd probably be to tired for ladies by then. What would tire me out? I'll tell you what: all the ladies I'd get when they found out someday I'd be Pope! Look out ladies. Here comes the Pope!