Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Targov: the Warrior with a Business Degree

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We join our warriors high on the wind swept plains of Mongolia.

Chief Nartock: Come, men! Victory will be ours. Their warriors will fall before our swords, the children will weep, and their women will be raped!

Targov: Um, excuse.

Chief Nartock (rubs his eyes): Yes. Targov. What is it?

Targov: Thank you Chief. I just thought that this might be an ideal time to rethink some of internal strategy so that we might capitalize on future growth by utilizing our own current potential.

Chief Nartock: Umm...

Targov: Bare with me for just a second. (Passes out nicely bound packets to the warriors.) Now you can see on page three how our productivity has been severly marginilize by not fully reintegrating our available workforce. But using our enemies and their children as slave labor instead of liquidating them -

High Priest Tarmoot: But it is their spirits that we feast upon to give us strength!

Targov: Not anymore. I just signed us an indorsement deal with Johansens Bottled Spirit, the strength of the undead with out all the mess. We just have to etch their logo onto our swords and I'm sure the gods will favor us with high returns.

Chief Nartock: Enough Targov! We will enslave them. I don't care as long as I still get to rape their women.

Targov: Actually Cheif, we did some market research and it seems people much prefer the term "Hostile Merger." Also instead of swords, we will know by using "Danger Sticks," and our horse will be called - (Chief Nartock cuts off Targov's head)