New Year's Eve in LA

'Twas the night before New Year's, and all through LA
The celebs were preparing for a drunk Holiday
they all dialed cell phones and were hoping that night
To club up at the clubs with the blackest black lights

The men were not proper, the women not prim
They'd flash their fake tits, and sweet abs from the gym
And while Paris had Gucci, and Lohan wore Uggs
Their Agents donned suits, and arranged to buy drugs

Amy Winehouse didn't notice, cause she was still drunk
Tracy Morgan looked forward to acting all krunk
And Hannah Montana would be in bed by eight
Cause she's still a kid and her songs aren't that great

Stretch limos lined Sunset, jaguars double parked
Paparazzi used flashes to photo in dark
They prayed that somebody would shoot a rap star
Or that models would O.D. outside Beauty Bar

And I'd write this more but you get the drift.
It's just rhyming statements, not Jonathan Swift
I just wanted to wish you a lovely new year
Happy '08 to all, and don't drive after beer