I need more Drills

In elementary school, they use to prepare us for terrible situations like fires and tornadoes with drills. Sometimes they were welcome like a fire drill getting us out of class for a half hour. Sometimes they were painful like being hunched over in the hall for a tornado drill. But overall they left me with a sense of security that if something dangerous happened I would be prepared.

As an adult, that feeling has completely gone away. If there was a fire in my office I would have no idea where to go. We have no safety spot to meet up at. No designated escape routes. Every time there is an earthquake their is an argument about whether we should run outside or hide under a desk. I want drills.

More importantly I want drills for the other important disasters that may happen in my life. I want to practice what to do if I get dumped by a girl. I want to run through my emergency plan for getting fired. Who couldn't use a walkthrough of how to handle a pregnancy scare in a calm orderly manner. To be honest, I have some ulterior motives, as I am heavily invested in a pregnancy scare alarm company.

The sound of crying baby lets you know to go to your closest window and climb down our patented emergency fear of commitment ladder.