WIN BIG!

HA HA HA Vegas I beat you! I beat you! That’s right America I won $43 at the roulette table last weekend in Vegas!

I know what you’re thinking: how can I, the average American, also quadruple my investments without possessing any marketable skills?

In answer to your query funbox has decided to post this Guide to winning big in Vegas.

First go to Vegas: Tickets can run about $130 if you plan on flying, but if you are willing to spend 16 hours in a car you can shave that down to about $90 in gas for a round trip (a steal with absolutely no downside!) Next you’ll need a hotel. The “Hooters” hotel is surprisingly near the strip and reasonably priced (Funbox only spent about $100 for 2 nights) not only that, it also smells of BBQ wings and Sexism! They even leave a cup of ranch sauce on your pillow!

You can usually score free drinks while gambling. But if you are impatient or ignorant of this fact (I was both!) you can head on down to any of the many bars in walking distance. Drinks can be a bit pricey ($10 a pop plus tips) but the service is world class.

Now it’s time to hit the tables you should do what I did: Win twice at roulette, tip the dealer (ball-spinner?), and nervously cash in your winnings while wondering if this is the start of a dangerous addiction. Then it’s off to dinner ($120) and a show ($250).

Yes average American, you too can make it as a high-stakes gambler.