Accidents, Seatbelts, and You

Whenever you get into a car accident, first thing an officer will ask is: “were you wearing a seatbelt.” Always say “yes,” then the officers will give each other the “oh yeah seatbelts are awesome” look and someone will mention that “they save lives” (note: Firemen also save lives but you are not expected to wear one of those). I think there’s an office pool about seatbelts or something, and every time someone wears one, all the cops get a free lunch. (The lunch is pastrami.)

I don’t even know why it’s relevant to know if someone actually wasn’t wearing their belt. Maybe it would be like: “I’m sorry officer, actually I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt, and I mistook the dangling buckle for a snake. That’s what caused the accident. Congratulations you’ve cracked the case!” In that scenario, I’d die after being unable to get medical attention for my internal bleeding as I just spent the last moments of my life talking about seatbelts.